


Dog Problems

by love_stella



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Animal Transformation, Darren is Tired, Getting Together, Multi, Shenanigans, The Big Dog Gets to Eat, boys being dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 01:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15037919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_stella/pseuds/love_stella
Summary: “T fucking stop. You can’t chase Brinksy he’s not a fucking cat and you know it. Stop being a little shit, you’re not funny,” Darren says, running after the dog and catching up to it before it starts chasing Alex in circles around the car.Wait. Did Darren just call the dog T, as in Taylor? What the fuck?





	Dog Problems

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LottieAnna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieAnna/gifts).



> IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS MENTIONED IN THIS FIC PLEASE TURN BACK NOW AND SAVE US ALL SO MUCH EMBARRASSMENT
> 
> Hi Lotts! You asked for animal transformation so here it is! I had so much fun writing it, I hope you like it <333
> 
> Thanks to R for otters knowledge, S, A, A, and N for help with the concept/hand-holding and E and P for the beta/comments ily all <333

_ Prologue, Taylor: _

Taylor isn’t expecting to see Dylan sitting in Alex’s lap in the locker room when he gets off the ice, but that’s exactly what’s happening right now. Dylan has to fold in on himself to fit, and that’s definitely an elbow digging into Alex’s side and his head is still above the other boy’s, but  _ technically _ Dylan is indeed sitting in Alex’s lap. 

Dylan probably thinks he’s being cute, rubbing that dead animal that’s attached itself to his chin against Alex’s face, and judging from the way that Alex is giggling and half-heartedly pushing at Dylan’s chest, it’s working. 

Listen, Taylor knows that Alex and Dylan are  _ a thing _ , they’re his best friends, and he likes to think he’s partially responsible for telling Dylan to get his head out of his ass and ask Alex out, but there’s a difference between  _ knowing _ they’re together and  _ seeing _ them together. 

_It’s fine_ , he tells himself, _just get changed and get in the car and go home,_ _you can deal with this in the morning._

The last thing he thinks before he falls asleep is  _ well, now I really don’t have a chance with either of them _ , so no, everything is most definitely Not Fine.

\---

_ Dylan: _

 

Dylan’s not fully awake when his phone starts blaring the VeggieTales theme song -he thought it was funny when he chose it but at this point he’d rather not associate the Raddysh brothers with a cartoon- and he knows the boys well enough to know that if it’s Taylor, he’ll just start texting but if it’s Darren calling, Darren won’t give up until his phone is dead or Dylan answers. 

“Dude, I’ve been trying to call you for the last hour, answer your fucking phone,” Darren says, and looking at his phone, Dylan sees that he’s not lying: he’s got 20 missed calls and 15 unanswered texts, all from Darren. 

“It’s 6 in the fucking morning Raddy, what’s so fucking important?” 

“I can’t explain over the phone just get to T’s house. Bring Brinksy. Now,” Darren shouts.

“Sure dude, what-” Dylan doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before he’s talking to a dial tone, but he’s already climbing out of bed and throwing a pair of sweats on so he can wake up his boyfriend and drive over to Taylor’s billet. At 6 in the fucking morning. 

 

Darren’s waiting for them when they pull up at Taylor’s billet house, looking a lot more frazzled than Dylan’s used to seeing him, and wait, is that pieces of a tennis ball in his hair? 

“What took you so long?”  _ Well, good morning to you to Raddy _ , Dylan thinks to himself as he pulls a still-mostly asleep Alex from the passenger seat and up the driveway. 

“Hrummffff,” Alex mutters, and Dylan would be charmed if he wasn’t seriously trying to figure out the emergency. 

“That’s what took so long Raddy,” Dylan laughs. “Now are we going inside or did you just want us to freeze our dicks off?” 

Darren’s response is cut off by a series of barks and a loud crash coming from inside the house, wait, when did they get a dog? 

Someone must have opened the front door, because a  _ massive _ Golden Retriever is charging straight at them. Or, it’s running straight for Alex, who is now half-running half-stumbling down the driveway and frantically trying to get the car door opened to get away from it. 

“T fucking stop. You can’t chase Brinksy he’s not a fucking cat and you know it. Stop being a little shit, you’re not funny,” Darren says, running after the dog and catching up to it before it starts chasing Alex in circles around the car. 

Wait. Did Darren just call the dog  _ T _ , as in  _ Taylor _ ? What the fuck? 

“C’mon T, if you come inside I’ll play tug with you, you like that right?” Darren sighs, exasperated, but it’s enough to get the dog’s attention even if it hasn’t stopped staring at Alex. “Leave him alone, if you’re not a dick maybe Brinksy will play too.” Apparently  _ that _ is enough to get the dog to follow Darren back into the house, and Dylan might as well join them, once he’s checked to make sure his boyfriend is ok. 

“What the actual fuck?” Alex says, and hey, at least he’s awake now, that’s something. 

“I have no idea dude, let’s go inside. It’s too early for this shit,” Dylan replies, grabbing Alex’s hand and leading him into the house. 

When they get inside, Darren’s sitting on the floor with a tennis ball in each hand and a very excited Golden Retriever in front of him waiting somewhat-patiently for him to throw them, and of course the asshole decides to throw them in Dylan and Alex’s direction. To be fair, it’s also the direction of the entryway that leads down the hall, but Darren’s an ass and probably wanted to make the dog trip one of them. 

Dylan manages to push Alex against the wall, safely out of the line of fire before the dog barrels down the hallway, and once it’s distracted by the ball sliding under the shoe cabinet, they head into the living room.

“Are you going to tell us what’s going on? When did they get a dog? Where’s T?” Dylan and Alex are probably asking too many questions at the same time, but they’re valid questions that deserve answers. 

They’re cut off by the dog running back into the room, darting between Darren on the floor and Dylan and Alex on the couch, before crawling over to Darren and settling in his lap. 

“So. This is T,” Darren says, like that makes any sense.

“Taylor? As in, your brother, Taylor?” Alex asks, and on cue the dog looks up and cocks his head to the side, as if asking  _ yes, what do you want? _

“Yep. It’s… complicated. But. Believe me, I’ve been over here since 2 am when Karen called screaming about a dog in Taylor’s bed, wearing the clothes Taylor went to bed in,” Darren explains. 

“Ok what the fuck?” Dylan’s glad Alex is the one asking questions, because he doesn’t think he can manage full sentences right now: Taylor is a fucking  _ dog.  _ With four legs, a tail, fur, a deep ass bark, the whole deal. 

Now that Dylan’s looking at  _ Taylor _ he can kind of see it, they’re both tall, built as fuck, have the same shade of blonde hair, and are both  _ gorgeous _ . Not that Dylan would ever admit thinks that Taylor’s gorgeous, he’s got Alex and he couldn’t be happier with his life right now. If sometimes he looks at Taylor and Alex cuddled together on the bus and thinks  _ what if _ , no one needs to know. 

“T?” Dylan says, softly enough that he’s not even sure the word left his mouth. Judging from the way the dog - Taylor - perks his head from his place on Darren’s lap and whines before Darren gently pushes him off his lap, he was loud enough for a dog’s ears. 

Taylor looks like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to actually go over to the couch, and that shouldn’t break Dylan’s heart as much as it does, so Dylan doesn’t hesitate to pat his knees and let out an admittedly baby-voiced, “Come here T,” and that’s all the permission Taylor needs and now Dylan’s got a lap full of wiggling overgrown puppy shoving his face into one of Dylan’s hands and his butt in the other.  

“Hi boy,” Alex coos, and that’s Taylor’s cue to wiggle over to the other end of the couch and paw at Alex’s chest until he starts petting him, starting behind his ears and working his way up and down Taylor’s back. At some point, Taylor decides that licking Alex’s face is a thing that needs to happen. “Ohmygod gross dude this is not bros,” but he’s laughing so clearly Alex isn’t complaining about the impromptu facewash. 

Dylan’s not sure how long they stay like that, Taylor scooting between him and Alex on the couch begging for pets and giving slobbery kisses, but before he knows it, Karen’s telling them that they really should head home to get ready for practice before Coach K finds out what they’ve been doing all morning. 

“Hey no, it’s ok. We’ll be back as soon as we can ok?” Dylan coos when Taylor tucks his tail and starts the most heartbreaking whine he’s ever heard. “Go chew on Darren’s shoes before he grabs them ok?” It’s enough to distract Taylor long enough for them to slip out the door, even if they both keep looking back the entire walk down the driveway. 

\---

* _ If you like to talk to tomatoes, if a squash can make you smile, if you like to waltz with potatoes up and down the produce aisle-*  _ Dylan doesn’t let his phone finish the ringtone before he slams his hand on the mute button to shut it up. He loves Darren, he swears he does, but this is the first Saturday he’s been able to sleep in and dammit he just wants to sleep. 

“Thanks for waiting until 7 this time asshole, what do you want now,” Dylan sighs, turning his face into Alex’s shoulder instead of yawning into his phone. 

“You guys have to come get Taylor, Karen’s allergic to dogs,” Darren says. 

“What?” Is all that comes from the other side of the bed, but at least Alex is somewhat awake this time. 

“Karen. Is. Allergic. To. Dogs.” Darren says, which, thanks Dylan got it the first time, but that doesn’t mean it makes more sense. 

“We’d have to talk to Jen we can’t just bring a dog home with us,” Dylan says. 

“Karen already talked to her, she says it’s fine as long as he doesn’t destroy the house. T’s a good boy, he’s got manners,” Darren says. 

“He is a very good boy,” Alex says, widening his eyes and starting to flutter his lashes at Dylan as if he needs to be convinced to bring their friend home with them.  

“Fine, fine. Yes we’ll come get him,” but Dylan’s laughing as he hangs up on Darren. Serves him right anyways, calling at ass-o-clock again. 

 

Dylan and Alex spend the entire drive to Taylor’s billet house arguing about where Taylor’s going to sit in the car -Dylan wants him in the backseat so he doesn’t distract him while he’s driving but Alex wants him sitting with him on the passenger seat so he can safely hang his head out the window- but in the end they figure that Alex sitting in the backseat with Taylor is the best option. 

Karen’s waiting outside for them this time, nose red and eyes watering, and she must be talking to Jen because she hangs up the phone as soon as she sees the car pull up.

“Sorry we had to wake you boys so early, I just can’t *sneeze* handle this anymore,” she says.

“No worries, you didn’t ask for T to go full Big Dog, now where is he?” Alex says, already walking past her and into the house. 

“At least T’s got manners,” Dylan laughs. 

“He really is a good boy, he even brought the paper in this morning and helped chase a mouse out of the yard after you boys left last night,” Karen says. “We don’t have a lot of stuff for him, obviously, but his toys and food are ready to go.”

Dylan doesn’t make it further than the entryway when Taylor comes barrelling into his knees, jumping and whining and yes, that’s a tennis ball being shoved into Dylan’s crotch. 

“Ouch T knock it off,” Dylan says, probably a little harsher than he meant to because now Taylor’s rolling onto his belly like he did something wrong. Dylan should probably think it’s weird to give his best friend a belly rub, but it’s just bros right? “Hey no, you’re not in trouble buddy. Come here.”  

“Hey, Jen wants us to make sure we’ve got everything T needs before we bring him home with us,” Alex says, looking at his phone like it’s grown fur too. 

“You boys are on your own, sorry,” Karen laughs. “I can give you some money but that’s all I can help with.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Petsmart’s on the way home, we’ll figure it out.” 

They don’t have a leash for Taylor, but all Alex has to do is get to the car and call him over and Taylor runs straight for him. 

“Well, thanks for taking care of him last night, I guess,” Dylan says, hugging Karen. 

“Have fun,” she replies. 

“I’m sure we will.” and with that, Dylan grabs the box of food and toys and heads to the car. 

“Dude I have no idea what big dogs need. All Oscar does is sleep and let Ryan dress him in Isles gear,” Dylan laughs as he gets into the car. 

“Don’t speak poorly of the superior Strome brother,” Alex laughs, and Dylan’s ego could have withstood that hit if Taylor didn’t bark along with Alex. 

“Well, we should probably get him a leash first,” Alex says, pointing to the sign on the door saying that  **all dogs must be on leash** or they’ll get kicked out of the store. “You stay with him, I’ll be right back. How hard can this be?” 

15 minutes later Alex still hasn’t come back with the leash, and Dylan would go inside to look for him but he  _ really _ doesn’t want to leave Taylor alone in the car. 

 

Brinksy: DUDE THERE ARE LIKE 20 DIFFERENT KINDS OF LEASHES HELP

Me: ALKSJHDF WHAT

Brinksy: IDK THERE ARE NORMAL LEASHES AND ONES THAT MOVE WHICH DO I GET

Me: dude just get the cheapest one and we’ll get something better if we need to. 

Brinksy: ok BUT NOW WE NEED A COLLAR

Me: omg get him a super sparkly one he’ll HATE it

Brinksy: lmao

 

And that’s how Taylor ends up with a bright red rhinestone-covered collar and a navy blue leash. 

“Ok, you’ve got to be a good boy or we’ll have to leave, got it T?” Alex says, and Dylan swears the dog nods solemnly before putting his chin on Alex’s knee like he wouldn’t dream of misbehaving. Bullshit. 

Dylan’s not prepared for the sheer amount of dog stuff in the store, Alex wasn’t kidding about the leashes, there’s an entire isle devoted to them alongside harnesses and collars, and that’s just the first isle. Then there’s the toys, isles and isles of everything a dog could ever want: balls, rope toys, squeaky toys, bones, stuffed animals, things that look like they belong in a sex shop not a pet store, frisbees, you name it, it’s there. 

“Umm, should we just let him pick?” Alex asks, and on cue Taylor starts pulling him towards the tennis balls, going nose first into the pile of them on the bottom shelf. “I guess he likes these? Let’s get 5.”

It’s a good thing they grabbed a cart, because it quickly starts filling up with toys that Taylor’s hand -paw- picked out. They end up with more toys than Taylor can play with, but it’s worth it to see him prancing around, trying to get into the cart because he wants to play  _ now _ , so they agree to let him carry around one of the stuffed animals as long as he doesn’t drop it. 

The food is a bigger challenge, there’s so many choices beyond just wet and dry food. Does Taylor need gluten free food? Would he enjoy a Taste of the Wild? They don’t want to get him cheap kibble and he can’t exactly sample everything to see what he likes best, but they’re saved by a salesperson. Thank fucking god. 

“You boys having trouble?” Dylan didn’t realize they looked that clueless, but he’s not going to complain.

“We just got him and have no idea what to feed him,” Alex explains.

“Awww he’s gorgeous,” the salesperson -Kayla, according to her name tag- coos, leaning over to scratch at Taylor’s ears. “What’s his name?” 

“Taylor, uh, we named him after a friend as uh, a joke,” Dylan stammers, and he’s already lightly stomping on Alex’s foot because he knows he’s laughing at him. 

“Oh? That’s cute,” Kayla coos, not looking away from where she’s petting Taylor. “Anyways, you’re looking for food? Does he have any allergies or health issues that you know about?” 

“Not that we know of? He likes fish but he’ll eat anything,” Alex explains. 

“Ok well, we’ve got a few options with salmon in them, if you want to try one of those?” Kayla explains. “We’ve got sample bags so if he doesn’t like it you can just try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s just do that I guess,” Dylan says, not liking the way that Kayla keeps running her fingers through Taylor’s hair like he’s hers to pet. 

Dylan grabs the first bag she points at, cutting her off before she asks if they need anymore help with a “Thanks, we’re good now” and Alex looks like he wants to say that they do, in fact, need more help, but he shuts his boyfriend down with a glare he probably didn’t deserve. 

Alex waits until she’s out of earshot before whispering, “Dude, what the fuck was that?” and pulling Taylor closer to him. 

“Sorry I just didn’t like the way she was touching T,” Dylan mutters. “He’s not her dog, she can’t just. Pet him.”

“Dude, that’s what people do to dogs. Chill.” 

“Let’s just get out of here ok,” Dylan pleads, giving Alex his best puppy dog eyes. 

“As soon as we get some treats we can leave, ok,” Alex promises. 

“Deal.” 

They grab the first box of treats Taylor shows any interest in and Alex has to promise Taylor that they’ll come back and pick out better treats “when daddy’s not upset” which makes Taylor bark in approval and Dylan’s heart swell. 

Taylor gets a treat from the cashier for being a patient boy while they pay for all their stuff, so much for not spoiling him rotten. 

“Well that wasn’t very hard,” Alex laughs, and Dylan really just wants to go home and sleep for a week. This is not how he planned on spending today, so much for a lazy day off. 

\---

Dylan wakes up to a blonde fluffy tail in his face and the sound of licking coming from the other side of the bed. He’s about to freak out when he hears Alex telling Taylor to “knock if off T, your breath stinks,” and that’s when it hits him: they took Taylor home and fell asleep watching some rom-com with him in the bed. Taylor’s ass is in his face. Great. 

“Oh hey, Dylan’s up. Why don’t you say hi to him,” Alex says, wiping the slobber from his face and not bothering to hide his laughter when Taylor tackles Dylan and proceeds to lick every inch of his face. 

“Ok yes good morning T, get off me and we’ll get you food,” Dylan grumbles as he tries to push a 100 pound dog off him. Taylor barks twice, right in Dylan’s ear, before jumping off the bed and pawing at the door, looking back at them like  _ please let me out want food _ .

“You’re the one who said you’d feed T, don’t look at me,” Alex says. 

“Well then I guess we’ll just go for a walk without you too,” Dylan says, and shit, he probably shouldn’t have said “walk” because now Taylor can’t decide if he wants to paw at the door or race around the room that’s definitely too small for a dog with the zoomies. “Ok T calm down we’re going, we’re going.” 

 

Alex is in the backyard shooting pucks when they get back from their walk, Dylan doesn’t even get out a “hello” before Alex gently fires a puck straight at him. Luckily he’s got Taylor to protect him and catch it in his mouth before it ever gets too close. 

“Dude, we’ve got a goalie!” Alex shouts. “T, do you want to play with us?” 

Dylan’s trying his best not to laugh when Taylor knocks him flat on his ass in his enthusiasm to make sure that Alex knows that yes, playing sounds great, and before he knows it, Taylor’s got Dylan’s stick in his mouth and is charging straight for him. 

“Ok T, we’ll play but you’ve got to drop it and go stand in the net,” Dylan says, but he’s laughing to hard actually sound stern. 

Turns out Taylor’s a pretty good goalie, catching every puck they shoot at him in his mouth, but he’s terrible at actually staying in the crease; every puck he catches he brings back to Dylan or Alex, whoever didn’t shoot that puck gets it. It’s not a problem until Taylor decides that giving the pucks back isn’t fun anymore, eventually he starts trying to bury them in Ron’s planter, and of course that’s when Ron decides to come out and check on them. 

“Boys, I’m glad you’re all having fun but there  _ is _ an actual dog park you can take Taylor to,” Ron says. “I’m sure he’d have more fun running around out there instead of getting stuck in my flower beds.”

 

“How did we not know about this?” Dylan says as they walk the three blocks to the dog park. 

“Maybe because we didn’t have a dog until 3 days ago?” Alex says. “Why would we care about a dog park? It’s not like we need to flirt with hot dog owners idiot.”

“Please. I am a hot dog owner,” Dylan smirks. 

“You’re something alright,” Alex laughs, shoving Dylan a little when they finally get to the park. 

Taylor’s pulling at the end of his leash already, and that’s when they see it: there are two admittedly adorable pitbulls chasing a frisbee in the park. Dylan’s about to ask Alex if they’re allowed in when other dogs are already there, when the owners call out that “it’s fine, they’re friendly the love dogs,” and well, it looks like Taylor’s going to have a chance to make friends.

The dogs -Nala and Simba- immediately lose interest in the frisbee and at their owner’s command of  _ wait _ , sit patiently for Dylan, Alex and Taylor to get into the park, but once Alex drops Taylor’s leash, they’re let loose, free to sniff Taylor and start puppy bowing and whining to entice him to play with them. 

“Go ahead T, don’t you wanna play with them?” Dylan asks, when he sees Taylor looking at them for what he can only assume is permission. “We’ll stay here and watch. Go have fun, bud.”

Before he can blink, Taylor’s running across the lawn with Nala and Simba right on his heels, yipping excitedly at the new game. Taylor makes it another few feet before turning around and tackling Nala to the ground and wrestling with her, kicking up grass while Simba circles them and barks, making sure Taylor doesn’t bully his sister. 

“T play nice, you’re bigger than them,” Alex yells, even though there’s no way Taylor’s listening. “Just look at them, they’re so fucking cute it’s gross,” he tells Dylan. 

“Yeah,” is all Dylan can say. If he says what he’s thinking, it would just be gibberish about how happy he is that Taylor’s relaxed and having fun, and they’re the only ones who get to see this. 

After a while Simba decides it’s his turn to play with Taylor, pulling his sister off him by her scruff and knocking Taylor over to get his attention. Taylor jumps on Simba and that’s all they need to start wrestling, nipping gently at each other’s necks and rolling around in the grass. 

The wrestling stops when they hear a rustling in one of the bushes, and Nala and Simba’s owners don’t have time to call them off before a squirrel darts out of the bush and up a tree, setting the dogs off on a wild squirrel chase. 

“Ok, that’s it guys, we’re leaving if you can’t behave,” she says, getting their leashes and walking over to the tree they’re camped out under. “I’m sorry, but yes we’ve gotta go. C’mon.”

Taylor runs over to the bench Dylan and Alex have been sitting at since they got to the park, putting his head on Alex’s lap as if saying  _ please don’t make me leave I want to stay _ , and neither of them can say no to that. 

“We can stay for a while longer, but you know Jen probably wants us to come back before we have to leave for practice,” Dylan says. 

“We probably should have brought a toy or something,” Alex says, because now what are they supposed to do now that the other dogs are gone?

Taylor solves that problem by finding a ball someone must forgotten about, it’s a little gross but hey, a little dried dog slobber won’t hurt him. Dylan tosses the ball across the park and Taylor brings it back quickly enough that Dylan barely has time to share a smile with Alex at their friend’s antics, and now it’s Alex’s turn to throw the ball. Taylor doesn’t bring the ball all the way back this time, sitting a few yards away and dropping the ball at his feet, looking at them like  _ ok now you fetch _ , and again, Dylan can’t say no to that face. 

Dylan throws the ball a little too hard, he can’t see where it lands until it’s too late. 

Of course Taylor would find the one mud puddle in the grass, and Dylan really wishes he wasn’t rolling around in it, making sure his fur is  _ covered _ in mud. It’s not even a big puddle, what the fuck, how is he getting that dirty? 

Alex starts laughing, doubling over in giggles before getting his phone out so he can record everything, but the laughter gets Taylor’s attention and all of a sudden he’s running straight towards Alex, trailing mud after him and tackling him to the ground. Dylan manages to hook the leash to Taylor’s collar but the damage is done: Alex has mud all down his front and somehow in his hair, and Taylor’s managed to smear even more in his fur, which, how is that possible? 

“Ok now we need to leave, Jen’s going to kill us,” Dylan says, making sure to take at least 3 pictures of the aftermath. 

Jen’s waiting for them when they get back to the house, looking every bit of the disapproving mother, hands on her hips and all. 

“He’s not coming in the house like that boys,” she says. “There’s a hose, you can wash him down and hang out with him until he dries off.”

“We’ll wash him in our bathroom, it’s too cold to wash him outside,” Alex pleads. 

“I don’t want him tracking mud all over the carpet,” Jen says.

“Hang on, I’ve got an idea,” Dylan says, running into the house and coming out a few minutes later, and that’s how Taylor ends up wearing one of Dylan’s old t-shirts, sweats, and socks so he can go up the stairs and into the bathroom without getting mud everywhere. 

“Wait, I’ve never bathed a dog before, that was always Matty’s job,” Dylan realizes once they’ve tricked Taylor into the tub. 

“Umm, should one of us be in there with him? To make sure he doesn’t get out?” Alex asks, and maybe this wasn’t the smartest plan if they’re both clueless. 

“Oh good idea, you’re smaller, you go in with him,” Dylan says, holding Taylor back as he pushes Alex into the tub.

The water must startle Taylor; he jumps as high as he can, hitting Alex in the jaw and shoving past the shower curtain in his haste to get away from the water. 

“Shit, are you ok?” “T get back here, you stupid dog,” Dylan and Alex shout at the same time. 

“Ok new plan, we wait for the water to warm up and both get in there with him and just. Scrub him down. We’ll use the baby shampoo, that can’t hurt him, right?” Alex says, nodding to himself like it’s the best idea he’s ever had. 

Both boys decide that doing this in boxers is probably the best choice, even though Alex’s clothes are already soaked and the mud is dripping all over the bathmat. Dylan grabs Taylor and shoves him into the tub once Alex climbs in, and Alex grabs Taylor’s neck to keep him from escaping again while Dylan climbs in. 

“Let’s do this,” Alex says, holding out a fist for Dylan to bump, and with that: bath time. 

Once he’s soaking wet, Taylor must realize that escape is futile: he stands very still and lets Alex and Dylan scrub at the mud. It takes several times for them to get all the mud off but eventually Taylor’s squeaky clean, and so are they. 

By the time they’re done, most of the bathroom is covered in mud, all the towels are soaked, the trash can’s been knocked over, and Dylan and Alex are panting harder than Taylor is, who for his part now seems happy that he’s clean and is acting like he isn’t responsible for any of this.

“We’re never going to the park again,” Dylan sighs, “Sorry T, we’ll just have to find another way to entertain you.” 

\---

Taylor’s still a dog when the team leaves for their roadie, Coach K’s telling everyone that Taylor’s out indefinitely and Darren’s playing protective big brother to keep people from prying, and as much as they’d like to bring a four legged mascot on the bus, Dylan knows it would just lead to more questions they can’t answer.  _ Sorry, one of our players is a dog but at least he can skate _ doesn’t sound like something that would go over well on Twitter. 

Dylan’s trying not to think about how much he misses Taylor, he can’t remember the last time Taylor wasn’t on the bus with them. Alex must know something’s up, they always sit next to each other but right now he’s practically in Dylan’s lap, shoving his phone in Dylan’s face and making him look at stupid memes until he’s focusing more on Alex’s laughter than the new ache in his gut.

 

Jen’s been texting them pics of Taylor, him sleeping on the couch, trying to steal the table scraps from Ron’s plate, and it breaks Dylan’s heart when he sees Taylor sitting at the door to Alex’s room, clearly waiting for Alex to come out and play even though  _ he’s not there _ . 

Alex steals his phone and sends a string of heart-eye emojis and won’t stop cooing at the pictures -not that Dylan’s doing any better but he’s got an image to maintain and settles for chirping Alex and cooing internally- when Jen calls and asks if they’d like to skype Taylor for a while. 

“Yes duh, wait Stromer where’s your laptop? We can’t skype without it,” Alex shouts, and they can hear the scraping of dog paws running down the hall towards the sound of their voices before Dylan can start going through his suitcase to grab said laptop. 

“T, stop it. Yes, I know you’re excited but you need to calm down,” Jen tells the dog. “Yes, I know it’s your boys please  _ go lay down _ .” And yikes, there’s the mom voice. “Call when you’re ready boys, we’ll be waiting.” 

Dylan manages to free his laptop from the mess that is his suitcase before Alex gets annoyed and comes over to help him, and they hop onto the bed and press as close together as they can with the laptop in between them when they hit the call button on skype. A few seconds later, they’re greeted by the back of Jen’s head as she tries to get Taylor’s attention with coos of “hey come here T someone wants to talk to you” and an “ooff” from Jen which Dylan assumes means that Taylor has in fact, come here, probably with too much force. 

“Hey T, whatcha doin’ buddy?” Alex coos, and now there’s a dog nose taking up the screen and the happiest whine Dylan’s ever heard. 

“He missed you boys,” Jen says over the whining. “I’ll let you have some time with him but if he pushes the laptop off the couch you boys will be doing chores for weeks so don’t get him too riled up.”

“Yes ma’am,” Dylan and Alex say in unison, Alex doing a better job of keeping the sarcasm out of his voice. 

Taylor waits for Jen to leave the room before barking twice, his version of “I missed you too” but secretly Dylan thinks it’s more “imissedyoui’magoodboyhi” and he doesn’t need to look at his face in the smaller screen to know that he’s smiling like a dope right now. 

Dylan’s not sure how long they stay like that, just watching each other and telling Taylor all about the shit that happened on the bus -Kyle challenged the rookies to a game of poker and lost horribly- when Taylor suddenly lunges off the couch and runs out of frame. 

He comes back a minute later with his favorite tennis ball  _ and _ his favorite stuffed animal (an otter, of course) hanging out of his mouth and drops both on the keyboard before woofing softly and cocking his head to the side like  _ ok now play _ . 

“Ohhh buddy we can’t play with you right now,” Dylan whispers, but the sound is lost over another whine from Taylor. 

“Hey, why don’t you play and we’ll watch you? That sounds like fun,” Alex says, and Dylan can’t help but laugh when Taylor picks the stuffed otter and throws it off the couch, running after it and picking it up again before throwing it across the room again. Taylor brings it back to the laptop a couple times, showing them that he’s a good boy and can fetch things for them even if they’re not in the same country. 

Taylor repeats the process with the tennis ball, tossing it around the living room until he chases it right under the couch, nosing at the laptop until he turns it so he can stare sadly at Dylan and Alex as if that’ll make them get the ball for him. Alex decides to start talking again, just stupid shit about how he wishes Taylor was on the roadie with them so they could finish binging Parks and Rec with them, and that calms the pup down enough for him to lose interest in the ball and settle on the couch to watch them on the screen. 

“Ok boys, that’s enough for the night. Taylor will talk to you later,” Ron says, which is for the best because Dylan’s fighting to keep his eyes open and Alex is starting to slump over onto his shoulder. 

\---

Darren knocks on the door a few minutes after Alex left on an emergency food run, and since they’ve severely underestimated how much Taylor eats, the 20 pound bag they got a few days ago is almost empty already, and fuck if they’re going to risk him realizing it and begging for their food. Dylan can barely say no to Taylor’s puppy dog eyes when he’s human, there’s no way he’s going to be able to resist them when he’s an actual puppy dog. 

“We need to talk,” Darren says, pushing his way passed through the door and heading into the living room. 

“‘ _ Hello Dylan. Nice to see you. Can I come in?’”  _ Sure Raddy. Come on in,” Dylan scoffs.

“Where’s T?” 

“Last I checked he was in Alex’s room watching the squirrels outside.” 

“At least it’s not the cat again,” Darren laughs. “But I’m sure it learned its lesson when T tried to lick its nose.”

“Yeah we haven’t seen it since,” Dylan says.

Darren keeps fidgeting on the couch -Dylan’s about ready to ask what his problem is- when Taylor comes charging into the room and jumping straight onto his brother’s lap, whining and shoving his face into Darren’s hand. 

“Oh T,” Darren sighs as he runs his fingers through the fluff of hair on Taylor’s ears before looking at Dylan. “Why’d you have to do this again buddy?”

“Wait, again?” Dylan asks. “Your brother’s turned into a dog before?”

“Back when we were kids, yeah,” Darren says, not looking up from his hand resting on his brother’s back. “We all teased him about this girl that he had a crush on, saying that she wanted to hold his hand and he should ask if she wanted to share his pudding cup, kids stuff, y’know? And the next morning when mom went to wake him up, there’s a golden retriever tangled in his sheets. T stayed like that for a week before the girl came over and asked to play with our  _ new dog _ and started crying about how much she missed walking to school with T. An hour after she left, T was back to normal. Or. Normal for his standards. Human.” 

“So it’s like. A crush thing? T’s got a crush?” Dylan doesn’t even have time to finish asking his question before Taylor’s pushing off Darren’s lap -Alex is home, judging by the sound of the garage door opening. 

“I’ve gotta go,” faster than Dylan can blink, Darren’s off the couch too, headed in the opposite direction of the younger Raddysh and out the front door. It’s a good thing Dylan’s still sitting down, or he’d have fallen on his ass trying to keep up with the commotion. Not to mention the whole “my best friend is a dog because he  _ likes _ someone.” 

\---

Dylan waits until he’s got Alex alone in the car to start the “so our best friend is a dog because he’s got a crush on someone” conversation, but he probably could have said something better than that, since Alex is now gaping at him like a fish. 

“Are you going to say something?” Dylan asks, reaching over to close Alex’s mouth. 

“Dude what the fuck? Are you serious? Who?” Alex word-vomits all over himself. 

“I don’t know, Raddy just, shouted it and ran out of the house.”

“Darren knows?”

“I guess it’s happened before? I dunno man? Some people get butterflies and I guess T grows fur,” Dylan says. 

“But… but  _ we _ like Taylor, don’t we?” Alex whines. “Why can’t he like  _ us _ ?” 

“Maybe he doesn’t know we like him?” Dylan says, taking his boyfriend’s hand and squeezing gently. 

“He’s  _ Taylor, _ how can he not know we like him?” Alex whines, not letting Dylan let go of his hand.

“We’ll talk to him when we get home, alright?” Dylan promises. 

 

Taylor’s waiting at the door for them when they get home, wagging his tail but doing his best not to jump on them or bark too loudly even though he clearly wants to. Alex gets on the floor and starts petting him everywhere before grabbing Dylan’s arm and pulling him down too. 

Jen and Ron already left for the night, something about “a break from the kids” that they’ve been planning for a while, so it’s just the three of them. Perfect for a potentially awkward feelings confession to a  _ dog _ . 

They take Taylor for a walk, making sure to let him sniff all the trees and pee on all the bushes -yes, they’re going to use that as chirping material for  _ weeks _ \- and while Taylor’s got his face in his water bowl back at the house afterwards, Dylan pulls Alex into the bathroom so they can decide if they’re doing this or not.

“Are we doing this or not?” Dylan asks. 

“I… I think we should, He’s a dog, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“He could pee on your shoes,” Dylan jokes. 

“Fair, but if we don’t tell him now, are we ever going to?” Alex says, not even waiting for Dylan’s answer before going to the couch and patting the seat next to him. Of course Taylor thinks that means that Alex wants  _ him _ on the couch, but he’s not wrong and having him between them might make this easier. 

It takes Dylan’s heart a minute to slow down enough for him to shuffle over to the couch, and when he does, Taylor clears a space for him and promptly sprawls out on top of both boys’ laps, his head on Dylan’s and his butt on Alex’s. 

Dylan braces himself, focusing on the feeling of Taylor’s fur under his hands instead of the butterflies trying to tear themselves out of his chest, but it’s the look Alex gives him that gives him courage to start talking.

“Hey T, we really miss you buddy,” Dylan starts. “You know that right?”

“Yeah, hockey isn’t the same without you on the ice with us,” Alex says. “Roadies are so boring without your poker skills.”

“I think you mean cheating, but yeah,” Dylan laughs. “Everyone else makes fun of my singing, no one else’s brave enough for a duet now that you’re not there.”

“Playing video games with Maksi sucks, dude, we never win,” Alex continues. “And he won’t cuddle with us when we’re done.” 

Taylor keeps turning around to whoever’s talking, looking at both of them with the most earnest expression Dylan’s ever seen on a dog, and he’s sure if Taylor could hug them both they’d be getting the breath squeezed out of them. Or he’d be giving them both a face wash. Maybe both. 

“We’re not sure if you knew this, but we really really like you T,” Dylan says when Taylor looks at him again. “If there’s something we can do to get you back buddy, tell us and we’ll do it.”

“Yeah, anything,” Alex agrees, scooting closer to Dylan so Taylor can look at both of them at the same time. “You’re our favorite. We miss you.” 

The three of them stay on the couch until Jen and Ron come back and tell them to go to bed, they fall asleep snuggled together, the comforter pushed shoved off the bed in favor of sheets and a furry warm, albeit breathing, blanket. 

\---

_ Epilogue, Taylor _ : 

In hindsight, Taylor probably shouldn’t have fallen asleep with Dylan and Alex last night: dogs don’t wear clothes and right now Taylor is very much not a dog, which means he’s naked, and sharing a bed with his two best friends. The same best friends that spent an hour last night talking about how much they loved him and how they wished he was  _ Taylor _ again so they could show him how much they loved him. 

It could be worse, he did fall asleep on Dylan’s lap with his head on Alex’s chest, and now he’s firmly settled between them on the bed, but there’s no way he’s going to be able to make a smooth escape from under Dylan’s arm without waking one of them up. 

Alex’s hand rubbing his back interrupts his escape plan, and Taylor can practically feel Alex’s realization that Taylor’s not covered in fur anymore. Actually no, he  _ can _ feel it, because Alex’s hand stopped mid-stroke and he’s staring at Taylor with the widest eyes Taylor’s ever seen. 

“Oh uh. Hi?” Alex squeaks. 

“Hi,” Taylor whispers, keeping his voice quiet so they don’t wake up Dylan. 

“You’re not a dog,” Alex says, which, no shit dude. 

“You like me,” Taylor doesn’t know why that’s the first thing out of his mouth, but it’s truth.

“More like love, probably,” Alex answers with a smile Taylor would like to see every morning for the rest of his life. 

“If you don’t help get Stromer off me I might have to bite him.” 

Taylor doesn’t get any further before he feels Dylan’s arm tighten around his waist and a muffled “Hmmm I’m into it,” against his neck. 

“We know,” Alex and Taylor say in unison. As if anyone could forget when Dylan bit Mitch during a wrestling match in the Strome basement. 

“Ok get off me, I gotta pee,” Taylor says, already shoving Dylan off him and completely forgetting that he’s not wearing anything under the blanket.

“Is it too soon to ask if the Big Dog wants to eat?” Taylor hears Dylan ask Alex through the bathroom door. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Taylor’s billet’s mom’s name is made up.


End file.
